It's Only Forever (Not Long At All)
by alice-in-hollywoodland
Summary: Mai didn't realize she was marrying the wrong man until the day of her wedding, and by then it was much too late. 100 word drabbles for #MaizaiMonday.
1. desperate

(an: this #MaizaiMonday fic is chronological and canon)

-::-

 **It's Only Forever**

-::-

(desperate)

-::-

Once upon a time there was a cruel tyrant who desperately craved a cold girl.

He always took whatever he wanted. She surrendered herself with an equal desire, even though she loved the boyfriend she brought home from Ba Sing Se.

Today was her wedding. She gazed at her reflection and remembered her first time, which was not with Zuko; it was with his father.

Mai was desperate to forget that dark hunger and love Zuko.

She slowly stood up.

Mai regretted nothing and she wasn't going to start now.

Still, she desperately wished she could forget that passionate night.


	2. cutthroat

-::-

(cutthroat)

-::-

"I don't care enough to have any wishes," said Mai, tapping on the bars of his cell. She shouldn't have come here; she was stupid to do it. "Maybe I'd do things differently but I don't think about it. It's a waste of time."

Ozai smirked. "You're one of those people who hates speculation?"

"I hate everything."

"You're unhappy with Zuko."

"I'm always unhappy."

"You're here because you think you'd be happier with me."

He might be right, so Mai carefully considered her answer.

"The world is a cutthroat place," she decided, "and it isn't kind to people who wallow."


	3. fable

-::-

fable

-::-

"You have such a fairy tale ending. I _love_ it," Ty Lee cheerily chirped.

Mai envied her obliviousness. Or maybe, if Mai was lucky, it wasn't obvious that she was unhappy with who she ended up with. It didn't _have_ to be him; it just shouldn't have been _Zuko_.

She cared about him, but not the way he cared about her.

"I'm not a fan of fairy tale endings," Mai said, although she knew she was perpetually pretending that her life was fine, that she was content if a little bored.

She paid guilt-ridden visits to the prison every night.


	4. inferno

-::-

inferno

-::-

"I'm… in love with you. Really. I mean it," Mai insisted, even though she knew it would not work. Zuko was trusting but not stupid. He was the right person for her, she thought, or, at least, she never was with a better person.

Her head added 'for more than one night' but she was smart enough to negate that thought. He was the worst person alive and she was young and on the temporary rebound. Right?

"I just feel an inferno about you and maybe you feel a campfire about me," Zuko said.

Mai could not look at him.


	5. darkness

-::-

darkness

-::-

The darkness made her think too much.

It did the same thing to Zuko.

She kissed him earlier. They both were thinking about how it never felt the same after the war. There was something slightly off that he did not know, and she did.

Mai would never admit it.

Zuko did not think he wanted to know.

"Did I break your heart?" Zuko asked abruptly.

Mai tried to decide if she should pretend to be asleep or not. It was pitch black; he would not know. But she sighed.

"No, no. It's the other way around."

He didn't understand.


	6. blood

-::-

blood

-::-

"What time is it?" Mai asks groggily when Zuko wakes her.

"Morning," he says but it's still dark out. Mai doesn't ever get up at this hour. "Who are you interested in? You're into someone."

"I'm married to you," Mai says.

"I know it's not me now," Zuko replies. It took him a long time, but not long enough.

"I'm not interested in anyone. I'm not in love with anyone." Mai looks into his eyes and sighs. "But I wonder what would've happened if I stayed with someone else."

"Who?"

Mai struggles to reply, "Your father."

His father. His blood.


	7. steel

-::-

steel

-::-

Zuko barged into his sister's room unannounced to ask, "How do families who can't firebend settle their issues?"

"Swords or knives. Maybe spears? Steel things."

"Or they sit down and have healthy discussions."

"Why do you need to know this?"

"Because father can't firebend. Agni Kai is out of the question."

"I could fight on his behalf."

"You don't want to."

"Why not?"

"You're probably on my side. He had sex with Mai."

"When?"

"The day after the eclipse."

"Ew. I was probably in the house. I am not getting involved in this."

"I need to face him."

"Have fun."


	8. pain

-::-

pain

-::-

Zuko went to visit his father after a long time away. He wasted no time before saying, "I'm going to hurt you. I'm going to make you suffer."

Ozai laughed, infuriating Zuko. "You sound almost like a real man. Is there a reason?"

"I think you know."

Telling the truth, Ozai said, "Honestly, I don't."

Zuko snarled through his teeth, "You slept with her."

"I did that a long time ago and only once. It's nothing to act like you'll torture me over."

"She wonders what would've happened if she stayed with you."

Ozai's crooked smile made Zuko's stomach turn.


	9. beauty

-::-

beauty

-::-

"She's really beautiful," said Zuko. Ty Lee chewed on the inside of her cheek. "I could tell her that."

"That's not going to help you. I think she chose to be with you and you should just drop this thing entirely and move on and keep being a cute couple," Ty Lee said, smiling at her brilliant advice.

Zuko did not accept it. He was far too concerned.

"I don't think she loves me," he said.

"I don't think she loves him either. You have more points in her mind," Ty Lee insisted.

Zuko covered his face with his hands.


	10. blade

-::-

blade

-::-

It hurt like a cut from a blade.

Zuko was inhaling fear and exhaling anger every day. He did not know why. It was a long time ago and he trusted Mai. He approached her, perpetually livid as he was.

"I still love you. I don't plan on leaving you or killing my dad."

"I would remind you that this is your fault for breaking up with me through a note, but we have more important things to talk about. I…" Mai did not finish.

Zuko knew that there was only one thing that meant.

They were stuck together now.


	11. eyes

-::-

eyes

-::-

Zuko approached Mai, brave and bold and ready to gut her for answers.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth about you and my father," he demanded in the tone of a true Fire Lord.

Still, it did not intimidate Mai. Perhaps that was why Ozai slept with her. Zuko tried not to shiver at the reminder that that happened.

Mai coolly replied, "Do you want the truth or a lie that makes you feel good inside?"

Zuko wanted a lie. He _knew_ he wanted a lie.

But instead, he ordered, "Tell me the truth. Please, Mai."


End file.
